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5 Ways to Be a ‘Good’ Mother — Instead of a ‘Perfect’ One

There’s a lot of pressure to get everything right so that you can give your child the best life possible. Who doesn’t want to be a great role model and set their child up for endless success? It feels like there’s new parenting advice coming out every week about what’s healthy for kids and what isn’t. You may be personally taking it upon yourself to keep track of it all.

Slow down. You could be spending so much time trying to be the “perfect” mom that you’re missing the enjoyment of watching your kids growing up entirely. You’re never going to obtain perfection because the “perfect” mother doesn’t exist! Here are five ways you can be a “good” mom, instead of a “perfect” one.

Keep them clothed.

If you’re providing the essentials your child needs to function, you’re already well on your way to being a “good” mom. Some of the essentials—like clothes—can be difficult to keep up with because children grow so quickly. It’s almost better if you can get ahead of the growth spurt. By subscribing to one of the clothing subscription boxes available for children, you can stay on top of this without ever going to the store.

Kidpik is a clothing subscription service for kids. They understand your needs as a parent, which is why you can sign up for a box to be sent every one to three months. They also understand that kids can be picky about their style preferences, especially if they are more sensory sensitive. That’s why you don’t pay a styling fee like other subscription boxes. You only pay for what you want to keep. The process is so easy. First, you take a style quiz to create a style profile. Then, a personal stylist picks out pieces for the box. Once your box arrives, you’ll have a generous seven days to try on, purchase, and return items because life gets busy. A “good” mom is a “smart” mom who saves time and money so she can focus on her kids. Make clothing everyone easier on you and the kids by getting a subscription box.

Identify when there’s a problem.

It can be difficult to admit that something might be going on with your child that you can’t fix and that isn’t just going to go away as they grow. As your child develops, different issues may arise. It’s important that you don’t let your own ego get in the way of getting your child some much-needed help.

Dialectical behavior therapy for children is a wonderful way to help your child if they’re exhibiting or experiencing suicidal and self-harming behaviors, anxiety, depression, disordered eating, substance use issues, borderline personality disorder, and trauma. DBT helps your child learn mindfulness, emotion regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness. A “good” mom doesn’t treat the need for therapy, like a failure. Many children and adults need someone to talk to in order to learn healthy skills and behaviors. Be open to giving your child this opportunity. It could save your child’s life.

Pay attention.

Children have a lot to say, and always want your undivided attention. It’s not humanly possible to always make them the center of your world. To keep them happy and to make them feel important, make sure you carve out time every day where they know they have your focus. Put down your phone, put everything on pause, and really be with them. You may find that having an allotted time like this every day will reduce attention-seeking behavior.

Affirm them every day.

You can boost your child’s confidence and self-worth by simply going through affirmations with them every day. You can do this formally where you have them repeat all of the wonderful things they are, or you can slip in affirmations throughout the day. Tell them, “You are loved.” A little love can go a long way.

Learn from your mistakes.

Perfection isn’t possible. You will make mistakes. How you react when you make those mistakes is what makes you a “good” parent. Learn from them. Apologize to your children if you messed up. Then, you’ll be able to move forward as a family.

Jennifer Holland

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